So I have recently discovered that upon meeting me for the first time I intimidate, or -ed, a lot of people. This is utterly bewildering to me. I mean sure, I’m tall–but I walk with a pink flowery cane and wear bright colors and have a unicorn tattoo up my leg. I mean as far as intimidation factors go I don’t think I’m hitting many check marks.

I can sort of see it with my online personality. I am shy. And oddly blunt at the same time. Add those two elements together and it can sometimes come off rather short in the land of non-emotive text. But even then I am heavy emote user…although particularly fond of the table flip:  (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

I can, however, understand if you found me intimidating while I was still living in the USA. I was miserable. I lived in an abusive household. And I was silent. I still wore bright colors, but also horns, elf ears, kimono, and time period clothes. I also had a metal briefcase. I understand now these were all actually attempts to be noticed at school because I was not at home. And when I was…oh, boy. So the me of the past was pretty dark, snappy, short-fused, and defensive AF. I could not, and still do not very well, take personal jabs well.

One other instance when I’ve told I scared someone was when a very drunk man crashed our park BBQ party in Nagoya. It was OK at first… but then he started touching my girl friends, and when he tried to take off one’s coat because “she looked warm” I lost it. I told him to beat it or I’d call the police. To which he told my husband he needed to control his raging bitch wife. All the while I am holding a steak knife (I was the BBQ cook!!!) and telling him male or female has nothing to do with it, you don’t undress others and this has officially become a private party so GTFO! All in fantastic mafia-like Japanese~★ One of my best emotional Japanese verbalizations. When the dust had cleared and drunk guy wandered off shouting to the next family about what a bitch that foreigner is (me) my girl friends, guy friends, and husband all slowly turned and just stared at me in awe.

I am shy. I’m very introverted and non-confrontational, but so help me if you mess with my friends. For the rest of the party I was told I was either “hella cool” or “hella scary”.

I guess it’s just a matter of when you met me and what was happening at the time. But really…I’m not intimidating, except on public transportation. Whole different story there.

 

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