by Serena W Sorrell
I was born too much and not enough.
You raised me on toos and not enoughs so much
They were my first steps, my first words, my every thought.
All my life I’ve been too much and not enough.
I’ll probably go out too much and not enough.
Were you built of toos and not enoughs too?
Was that the reason they were all you knew?
Even so, the toos and not enoughs hit harder than a fist.
Every too and not enough taught me I’m sorry.
In your eyes was I really
Too much like them?
Did you really believe I was
Not pretty enough,
Not slim enough,
Not smart enough,
Not fast enough,
Not normal enough,
Not obedient enough,
Not feminine enough,
Not thoughtful enough,
Not strong enough,
Not kind enough,
Not like them enough?
You made me so many toos and not enoughs I was full up.
Later, I wandered too far and it’s still not far enough.
Your toos and not enoughs are endless whispers.
You’re too much a part of me,
And I’ll never be rid of you enough.
But I’m trying to be just right.
And I’m trying to be enough.
I tell myself I can never be too me or not me enough.
And I try, I try, I try to believe myself like I once did you.