Ok, so if you follow my Instagram you have doubtlessly seen Mucha. She is a cutie. Every one of her pictures of videos gets a lot of loving.

I am a cat person. I have always been a cat person. I like dogs too, but they have to be giant, could-possibly-saddle dogs, and I am sorry to say pit bulls are not loved. I am one of those children who was attacked by one of the mean owned poor pit bulls at seven and never recovered my courage. I know they are nice dogs, but when I see them I want to cry. Also run.

So, cats. By Baset, do I love me some cats! And I am horribly allergic to them. The gods are assholes. This isn’t like light sniffles allergy. This is like eyes swollen shut, can’t breathe, snot running down my face allergies. Pretty right? Husband is also allergic, although his favorite animal is the Norwegian dwarf rabbit (HOW FUCKING CUTE CAN ONE MAN BE?!?!?!)

Before he met me husband was assured cats were mean, spitty, bitey, hissing things, with claws and teeth out to murder people. So, ok, he’s mostly right, but they’re really cute when they’re attempting murder.

Mucha however knows she is cute with her tiny stumps and big ole eyes. And her “look at me I can beg for snacks~ It’s noon~ Give me a snack~” And her, “The water level in my automatic water fountain is low, human. Fill it.”

She is a diva. I will never buy a petstore cat again. They know how much they cost, I swear, and they will never forget. Before I get e-mails condemning pet store buying- I KNOW! I wanted a shelter cat!!! JAPAN HAS 2 SHELTERS and a few rehoming sites all in Japanese. And even those are full of purebreds and scammers. And really I just wanted a cat, and this little legged thing was the first cat husband went “It’s so cute!” I was just all, “YEEEEES!!!!! BUY IT NOW!”

He had liked a cat! So, we left that day with a cat. I got to name her, and being art grad I am she got an artsy-fartsy name. Alphonse Mucha is my favorite~

Well, she’s calmed down now that’s she’s about three, this Mucha still lacks any of the elegancy I named her for. She is utterly worthless as an insect killer… like, you would not even believe this giant spider she herded AT me!

But we keep her nails trimmed, hair brushed weekly, and a bath monthly so we’re pretty ok on the allergy end of things. Unless she’s an asshole and sleeps on our face, which hey, another thing cats sometimes do. Still, I love the little gorogoro (Japanese sound effect for purring) machine and her midnight hundred meter dashes up and down the stairs.

She is, after all, disgustingly cute.

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